Nathan And The Blue Polar Bear

 

A master in the fine art of wilderness survival, Nathan is seen in this photo with two rehabilitation assistants.

In his latest expedition, Nathan had tragically lost both hands to a very rare Blue Polar Bear, thought to be native to the toddler section of apparel stores. During his struggle for survival, Nathan managed to break free and call for help. With one fell swoop, his parents delivered the Blue Polar Bear to its demise. One shot from the bar code scanner gun, and it was over. The only reminder of this horrific incident is the trophy which adorns his head. It not only symbolizes strength and bravery, it also serves as an indicator for increased quarterly profits, and possibly a return of economic stability.

 

(An “editorial” courtesy of “ace” (a.k.a. Nathan’s uncle)

 

UPDATE:

Through the wonders of modern technology and the technical and scientific skills of his rehabilitation assistants, Nathan’s paw reattachment surgery is a success. Here, he is showing off his other prized trophy: the paws of the Blue Polar Bear that took his own hands!

 

After the fierce battle between Nathan and the Blue Polar Bear, it was decided that no matter how difficult the task, being that the Blue Polar Bear paws are a highly coveted prize in these parts and are a one size fits most, Nathan would undergo a tricky paw reattachment surgery. The procedure was long and difficult. Tears were shed. Nathan cried out in protest. Nathan’s rehabilitation assistants cried out from frustration and exhaustion as it turns out that the Blue Polar Bear paws are just a tad small. However, the rehabilitation assistants were creative in their attempts and, in the end, another battle was won. Nathan can once again go out and battle the Wisconsin snow with open hands…er…paws. And, with his trophies in plain sight, any other Blue Polar Bears lurking in the vicinity would be foolish to cross paths with him!